just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
