A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
