So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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