I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
