I puked a lego.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
