dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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