i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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