good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
