glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
