capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
