You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
