Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
