Are we in a gay sports bar?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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