Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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