just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
