oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
