I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
