if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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