You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
