this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is wine microwaveable?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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