worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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