Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
