its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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