Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
