my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
