was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
