the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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