I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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