Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I intend to get homeless drunk
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize