Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
