i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
