Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
