I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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