can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My feet surprised me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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