This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
