Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
