Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
