Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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