(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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