Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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