I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
