k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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