Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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