Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
