I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
