i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
