we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
