Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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