she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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