you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
