I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
